janegodzilla: (office monkey)
So hey, guess what? I'm in love with a boy, and I'm totally going to apply to nursing school.

I know those two things don't have anything to do with each other, but I figure that I might as well get two sweeping pronouncements out of the way for the price of one. So...there you go. In love with a boy, nursing school. Whee!

The Nate thing will probably get its own post, once I stop freaking out enough to write about it. He doesn't know, thank Christ, so it's mostly just a matter of me having a complete mental spaz-out on account of I didn't expect it to happen so soon. But, like I said -- that gets its own post.

Nursing school, though. I'm cool with writing about that now. It probably seems a little out-of-the-blue, but I've been thinking a lot about school and jobs and careers a lot lately, and I've come to realize that I want an actual, honest-to-God career. Becoming a published author still is and always will be my ultimate goal, but I want to have something to do in the meantime. I thought I could make do with office jobs, but...no. Not happening. The longer I work in an office, the more I realize how much I dislike it. I have no passion for it. There's no security in it. I'm an easily replaceable little robot, and the thought of spending the next five, ten, fifteen years as an office monkey makes me want to fall apart.

So...why nursing school, exactly? )
janegodzilla: (Default)
Squishiness. ♥♥♥ )

On the work front, things have improved IMMENSELY. They're still insane, of course, but that's par for the course. No, the incredible thing is that they did something I never thought they'd do: they fired my nemesis.

I've written about her a few times -- she was the assistant of one of the partners, and was absolutely impossible to work with. Impossible. She treated the paralegals like they were monkeys, refused to communicate essential information to us, berated us when something wasn't done according to her exact specifications (see: refused to communicate essential information to us *eyeroll*), actively tried to undermine projects we were working on so that she would look good in comparison...the list goes on. She was awful and almost none of us could work with her, but she seemed to have immunity because she was a partner's assistant.

Apparently, that wasn't quite enough. Heh. I know I should feel a little guilty for exulting so much over another person being fired, but...damn, you guys, it's like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders now that she's gone. I was the only paralegal left who could sort of work with her (she'd burned the other two enough that they point-blank refused), and she was making my life miserable. Maybe I'll be able to stick this place out a little longer yet.

And on a book/movie note: I just finished Water for Elephants today and LOVED it, I'm halfway through Into the Wild now and find it fascinating, and I've been on a total geek-umentary fix when it comes to movies -- The King of Kong (EXCELLENT!), Monster Camp (hilarious and kind of sad), and Darkon (AWESOME). I think I'm going to have to write a more in-depth post about the latter two, actually, because...documentaries about LARP-ing? Are way more entertaining and compelling than the subject matter would have you believe. This stuff is golden.
janegodzilla: (cthulhu like pie)
As far as I can tell, Nate and I seem to be good again, which I'm oh-so dorkily happy about. After the weirdness of Thursday night, I resolved that I was going to wait a day to email him... )

On a more irritating note, I went to the dentist Friday morning so I could finally get my wisdom teeth looked at, and...yeah, those suckers need to come out. In fact, they're fucked up enough that they kept calling everyone else in the office over to look at my films. *facepalms* Stupid teeth. YOU FAIL. The dentist took one look, and said, "Are you having headaches?"

A little shocked by the question, I admitted that yes, actually, I was -- they'd be constant for a horrible month or so, die down, and then come back again. He explained that it was probably because of my wisdom teeth -- they're completely perpendicular to my other teeth, and so they're pushing against the roots of my molars instead of coming up. Normally, this would force my other teeth to move around and completely fuck up my mouth, but I have a permanent retainer and so nothing can move anywhere. So during those periods when my body is trying to force my wisdom teeth out? The pressure just builds in my jaw and I get headaches. Apparently, this will continue until they perform surgery and yank said teeth from my head. AWESOME.

I suppose it's worth pointing out that I'm absolutely terrified of surgery, and I'm honestly not sure which frightens me more: the thought of being passed out while they cut my head open and extract my lame sideways teeth, or the thought of being awake for it. *shudders*
janegodzilla: (IT IS A CROWBAR)
You know, aside from those few times when I was completely without internet access, I think this is the longest I've gone without posting. Weird! And probably unimportant!

Heh, I don't know. Work's been running me ragged lately, and the time change threw me off even more. I caught myself staring at the clock yesterday, trying to figure out what the numbers 2:35 actually meant. Obviously, they meant something, but for the life of me I couldn't figure out what it was. Two? Thirty-five? What? It was like trying to read binary. I'm sure I didn't help matters by staying out until four in the morning, but that's just Tuesdays. One of these days, I'm just going to say "fuck it" and schedule a personal day for Wednesday so I can just spend the night at Nate's and sleep in until eleven the next day (he works the brunch line Saturdays and Sundays, so his "weekend" is Tuesday and Wednesday...it's a little crazy, but we seem to be making it work).

Our relationship at the moment is one of those strange, ambiguous things where it's not entirely clear what we are and I don't know whether I should think of him as a boyfriend or not. It's not that the ambiguity bothers me -- to my immense surprise, I'm actually okay with it -- but I have to call him something when I talk about him to people, and lately I've been referring to him mostly as "Nate, this guy I'm dating." For some reason, this seems to confuse everyone. The "I'm dating someone" thing seems to shock them just as much as the "I'm dating a GUY" thing, so...I don't know. Maybe I just come off as really introverted and asexual to everyone? I have no idea!

And really, it's not that big a deal. I'm 99.99% certain that he's not seeing anyone besides me and he seems to genuinely enjoy my company, so that's really the important thing right there. Everything else will work itself out in time. *nod*

For your general amusement, have some brain-breaking conversations I overheard in the lunchroom yesterday )
janegodzilla: (HEARTS)
Boy howdy, was I out of it today. I was at Nate's until, um, really early in the morning, which would've been fine but for the fact that I had to wake up again at six. Two hours of sleep? Do not a productive Kathleen make. Haha, whoops. Luckily, things at work were pretty low-key -- abnormally so, actually, but I'm not complaining -- and I spent a good portion of my day on projects that didn't require me to use my brain. I never thought I'd be so happy to spend most of my day on labeling.

All things considered, I timed my sleep deprivation perfectly -- yesterday was hopelessly fucked up and busy, and tomorrow's going to be nuts because we're going live with our new electronic document management system, but today was niiiice and easy in a way I probably won't see for ages...at least, not until the assistants figure out the EDMS. *snort* I work with Luddites, I swear. If some of them had their way, we'd probably still be using the fucking abacus.

No, really, I'm serious. One of the assistants on the third floor got upset when the typewriter they use upstairs for filling out checks broke and they had to come downstairs to use our second floor one. And the reason she was upset?

The second floor typewriter has too many advanced features.

It's an electric typewriter. It stays plugged in all the time. All you have to do is feed the document in and TYPE, but no, this was too ADVANCED. I'm not ashamed to admit that my brain broke a little at that, because that was one of the stupidest fucking things I'd ever heard in my entire life. Advanced. Pfffft!

And now for the requisite Nate spazzing, just because I can. )

...glee!

Mar. 3rd, 2008 01:16 am
janegodzilla: (Default)
Yeah, so Nate's a really good kisser.

Also, Into the Wild is an incredibly sad movie and I'm not quite sure how I feel about the way Sean Penn romanticized the kid's death, and I really don't love the fact that I have to go to work tomorrow -- er, this morning -- but mostly I'm in full-on happy!dork mode because there was kissing and it was awesome and I like this guy so freaking much.

So.

Hee!
janegodzilla: (coffeeeeeeeeee)
Today's turning out to be a pretty good day. It's cake day, for one thing. I fucking love cake day, because the cake on cake day is free, and free cake -- especially free and delicious cake -- trumps just about everything. Mmm. Cake.

Also, I'm going over to Nate's tonight to watch the first Hellraiser movie, and while I still can't figure out if this is technically a date (I couldn't really figure out if Saturday was either), I'm sticking to my prior assertion that I'd be happy with him as a friend and not necessarily anything more. I'd PREFER the something more, true, but we'll see how it goes. As per usual, I'm excited and anxious to the point of vague nausea, although I get anxious to the point of vague nausea over plenty of non-date-related things as well and I can only hope it's something I'll grow out of eventually.

On the "not so great" front, I just found out I'm going to have to sink another two hundred dollars into my car. The dash lights and electrical systems have gone a little wonky, so...bye-bye, two hundred dollars. *sigh* It would be nine hundred if I fixed the stuff currently wrong with the transmission, but they said I might still get another two years out of her if I decided to leave things the way they were, so that's what I'm going with. She's sixteen years old -- at this point, I don't think repairing the transmission is going to do much good when everything else is falling apart.

Still, it kind of sucks. My family's owned this car since new, and I've definitely developed a soft spot for her. Also, I can't afford to buy a new one, so it's no more car for me when she finally does decide to call it quits.
janegodzilla: (bear is driving!)
Things that the guys of Portland are apparently into: Cthulhu, girls who express opinions on certain punctuation marks (Oxford comma for the win!), and the Heisenberg Uncertainty Principle. Who knew?

Seriously, this whole thing is reminding me of why I'm a total recluse and terrified of people. I thought maybe one or two people at most would reply; instead, it's...a lot more than that. I don't know. I really didn't expect this. I'm getting coffee with one guy tonight, and then I have lunch and Powell's with the first guy tomorrow, and it's all very weird and strange and I kind of have no idea what the fuck is going on.

Nerdy Portland boys are adorable, though. They're like puppies. I want to gather all of them up in a box and keep them in my apartment so I can pet them and watch zombie movies all day.

Blah blah more about BOYS )

I promise I'll start writing about things other than my stupid love life soon. It's just the only remotely interesting thing going on for me right now. Heh.

[4:00 PM EDIT]: I'm leaving in half an hour, and I'm terrified. Excited, and terrified. I really hope he likes me.
janegodzilla: (office monkey)
Aww, my first drunk post. How special. XD Anyway. I can't even express how happy I am that Friday has finally arrived. This has been the week from Hell. GOD. They gave me all of E's cases, and one of them -- this massive, sprawling, horrifying thing of pure evil -- goes into depositions this week, so I'm now expected to know the ins and outs of a case I've never touched so that I can have documents prepared exactly to the specifications of an attorney I've worked with but once...who changes her mind all the time.

Not that she'll admit to changing it, oh no. You just have to know that she has, go back and retroactively fix everything, and then anticipate when she wants it the way it was before.

Paralegals: The New Psychics!

To make a mid-length story short, I'm basically doing the work of two people right now, and it's driving me insane. Still no progress on the job front, although that's to be expected, given that it hasn't been that long since I buckled down and got serious about searching and applying. It's the same thing that happened when I finally got serious about finding a new apartment -- even though I was ready, it took the rest of the universe a little while to catch up. I know I'll find something eventually, so the trick will be to stick this out without going completely bugfuck in the meantime.

But today is Friday! Fridays are good. Fridays are amazing! Fridays mean donuts, and Friday means sleeping in the next morning, and this particular Friday means I'm seeing In Bruges at the Portland International Film Festival after work. Yeee! I'm so excited for this: a) I love dark comedies about gangsters, especially if said gangsters are Irish and/or English; b) I love Ralph Fiennes, and want to do dirty things to him marry him; and c) this is the first time in I don't know how many years that I'm going to see a movie by myself, and I'm wierdly giddy at the prospect.

You know what's also weird? February is the six-month mark for the breakup, and aside from my work-related woes, I've never felt happier or more secure in myself. I don't know. It's kind of awesome, actually. I'm enjoying this whole "optimism" thing.
janegodzilla: (Default)
I think I'm getting sick again. :P There's some weird death plague going around the office, and my co-workers are dropping like flies. Then they come back for a day or so, either relapse or catch something new, end up at home again for a while, and it's lather, rinse, repeat.

Death plague, people! Death plague!

But I've decided that I don't much feel like getting sick, mostly because there are some depositions going on next week that I kind of need to be on-call for in case the attorneys need, I don't know, a more aesthetically pleasing binder*, so I'm drinking ungodly amounts of water and herbal tea and pretending like everything is A-OK.

Which, oddly enough, it is, aside from the vague "wait, am I getting sick again?!" ickiness. I've been in a ridiculously good mood since Monday, which is insane considering that nothing whatsoever has happened to cause that sort of unholy cheerfulness. If anything, I should be more grouchy than usual -- I haven't been getting nearly as much sleep as I should, work is alternately boring as fuck or horrifyingly busy, I've been plagued all week by the persistent feeling that every day was a Thursday (except for today, ironically, which felt more like a Tuesday), and we've been sorely lacking in sun breaks. And yet? Good mood! I'm at a loss to explain it.


* I wish I could say I'm not speaking from experience here, but...trufax are more horrifying than fiction.
janegodzilla: (stranger than fiction)
I've been trying to write up a "year in review" post as we move into 2008, but I keep coming up blank. It's not that nothing happened, but more that I can rather neatly divide the year into pre-September (broke, depressed, miserable, grieving, trapped) and post-September (jittery, anxious, worried, busy), and to break it down much more than that seems like overkill. 2007 seems as though it's been a remarkably weird and unfortunate year for a lot of people, myself included, and I can only hope that 2008 ends up going better. I'm hopeful -- my early (and mercifully brief) "argh, I'm single over Christmas!" woes aside, I currently feel better than I have in a long, long time, and I feel like I'm finally getting my act together. 2008 is going to be a good year. I'm determined to make it so.

Last year, I think I'd resolved to lose weight and eat better (I think...I have the memory of a goldfish when it comes to resolutions, and this one has been a running resolution for the past five years or so). Much to my surprise, I actually followed through with this one -- I went from 144 to 118 and walk a mile or so every day, and I've cut fast food from my diet entirely. I feel surprisingly good about myself, which...has not been the case since, oh, high school. Yay. This year, my resolutions are a little more material in nature: I want to get my Oregon driver's license (technically, this is more of a "to do" list entry, but it can't hurt to add it to the resolutions list as well), I want to finish at least one of the three novel projects I'm currently poking at, and I want to edit said novel into something worthy of submission. I also want to start figuring grad school shit out as well, but that's a lot more nebulous as resolutions go, since that could mean anything from deciding on a major to saving the money to applying to a program. So...many...options, argh. I wish I could just be a career student and have done with it.

Tonight I plan to ring in the new year with a glass of wine and good book, a cat curled comfortably in my lap. I wash my hands of 2007, which will probably go down as one of the most horrible and -- ultimately -- transforming years of my life; and I welcome 2008 with open arms, in the hopes that it will be equally transforming...and not nearly as horrible, because...really, aside from 2004, which was the year I had my nervous breakdown, I can't think of a year worse than this one.

Yet...it all worked out in the end. Funny, that.

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