building a mentalese dictionary
Feb. 3rd, 2008 07:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
janegodzillaI've been living in my head a lot lately.
This isn't a bad thing, exactly. It's just that the things I've been focusing on (namely, writing and job hunting) are time-consuming and mentally exhausting. On weekdays, I come home and spend several hours on job hunting and resume tweaking and online applications and cover letters and the like. And then I write, which is immersive in the best and worst of ways, and when I finally surface it's midnight and I need to go to bed, and I get up at five-thirty to get ready for work and start the whole process over again.
Weekends are better, sort of. I needed a break from the job stuff, so I've spent the last two days cooking, baking, writing, and reading. It's been relaxing, but I still feel odd, like I've been underwater for a really long time and can't determine whether I've broken the surface or not. I don't know. I feel slightly disconnected from things, but not in a negative way -- it's more like I'd rather be paying attention to the world inside my head than the one I'm living in, because it's fresh and new and exciting and I can't seem to get it onto the page fast enough. The real world -- the dead-end job, the winter, the cold -- pales in comparison to what's happening inside.
I know I sound batshit crazy, but...this is what happens when whatever project I'm working on finally clicks. I'm just glad I can divide my focus between the writing and the job stuff -- both will pay off eventually, but I'd like for one to pay off a bit sooner than the other, if only for the sake of my sanity. Heh.
This isn't a bad thing, exactly. It's just that the things I've been focusing on (namely, writing and job hunting) are time-consuming and mentally exhausting. On weekdays, I come home and spend several hours on job hunting and resume tweaking and online applications and cover letters and the like. And then I write, which is immersive in the best and worst of ways, and when I finally surface it's midnight and I need to go to bed, and I get up at five-thirty to get ready for work and start the whole process over again.
Weekends are better, sort of. I needed a break from the job stuff, so I've spent the last two days cooking, baking, writing, and reading. It's been relaxing, but I still feel odd, like I've been underwater for a really long time and can't determine whether I've broken the surface or not. I don't know. I feel slightly disconnected from things, but not in a negative way -- it's more like I'd rather be paying attention to the world inside my head than the one I'm living in, because it's fresh and new and exciting and I can't seem to get it onto the page fast enough. The real world -- the dead-end job, the winter, the cold -- pales in comparison to what's happening inside.
I know I sound batshit crazy, but...this is what happens when whatever project I'm working on finally clicks. I'm just glad I can divide my focus between the writing and the job stuff -- both will pay off eventually, but I'd like for one to pay off a bit sooner than the other, if only for the sake of my sanity. Heh.